December 11, 2011
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“You might be a foodie if…”
- you find it easier to explain things, no matter how complicated, using food and/or cooking as metaphor.
- you’ve pondered, and discussed, whether or not all living things possess “souls” to various extent that cross over into the afterlife primarily out of your love of fried chicken.
- you’ve found yourself gazing up at the stars on a clear night, and wondered if there’s any edible form life out there.
- you’re disgusted by tentacle porn because it’s a tragic waste of good calamari.
- you don’t so much “taste” food as, converse with it regarding ingredients & processes involved, and charm the chef’s secrets out of it.
- you’d rather go hungry than “settle for artificially flavored machine excrement, like the rest of the sheep”.
- you really, really like chocolate. (Or, for that matter of fact, ice cream.)
- you believe coffee comes in one flavor. Black. Everything else is a diluent.
- you have beheld the power of cheese in a form & intensity few dare imagine.
- your counter argument to “Blood is thicker than water” is “Prune juice is thicker than blood”.
- you’ve spent more time thinking about the blue milk in Star Wars than most people spend thinking about Star Wars. (Or if Wookiees ever invented biscuits.)
- your favorite part about parties is the kitchen duty.
- your cooking oils outnumber your footwear.
- you stopped categorizing food into complicated categories such as origin, ingredients and flavor long ago. Good food is good food. Bad food isn’t.
- you’re watching a movie about zombies, they’ve grabbed their first victim and the first thought to come to your mind is – I wonder if they can taste what they’re eating?
- your home didn’t come with a kitchen… rather, your kitchen came with a couple of “extras”.
- you’ve used a packet of ready-to-use seasoning/spices as an impromptu list for buying individual ingredients.Err… that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.
Comments (24)
hmm not sure if i’m a bona fide foodie… but i sure do love CHOCOLATE!
@Peridot21 - Mmmmm chocolate… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb7YtNu35xU (the other obligatory chocolate video clip)
You worship Anthony Bourdain.
@godfatherofgreenbay - Well… that rules me out. I had to Google who Anthony Bourdain is. >_<
I’m out even if i have more OILS than sets of footwear but not all of them are heat stable…you know cook with ‘em. I knooooow who anthony bordain is and i own a book… loved the episode in hong kong … no reservations…where he did up a movie thing like all the wire stunts for martial artistry. I have NOT pondered the blue milk in star wars nor the methamphetamine laced milk in a clockwork orange…but I’m thinking I’m a foodie… even if i like machine made excrement…so you say I like ramen noodles fresh and top raman/marchuan etc… evidence I know how without measuring device how to make raspberry coca cola scones from scratch after too much of the raspberry…schmirnov….w/e vodka because I must have muffins!
Oy, I’d hoped to be the ‘first’ to Rec, and froth-at-the-mouth about what a stellar post this is: It’s got all the food-groups, plus wit overflowing the calander.
I’m lately a shameful ‘Pizza to go’ guy, (Here in TOGO) but with a dozen or so hectares/acres of veggies out back, it’s simply shameful that I find so little time in the short days nowadays to create heaven-on-earth meals.
Guess my main point then is to spoon out vitamin-rich ‘kudos’ on a Xanga post which re-proves what I suspected; that you belong in a high-calorie food-group of your own.
(Off to weed my broccoli, carrots, sweet corn, garbanzos, cilantro, potatoes, peas, limas, stevia, moringa, and canabis) Oops, how’d that get on the list?
@starmanjones -
“Measuring device?
Pffft! We don’t need no stinkin’
measuring device.”
@jsolberg - Thanks for the compliments.
If it’s any consolation, things could be worse. Like being the first to post a creative and witty comment to a new article. Only to see, after your response has been added, and the page reloaded, your first post is now the second, and all your wit & creativity is bordering on plagiarism. -_-
@Lakakalo - Yes, this too has come to pass a time or two for me. The price of considering myself so impossibly ‘unique’. “Yeah, Solberg, go sit over there in the waiting area with the other hundred or so Uniques’.
A pleasant evening and bon apetit
I have used spice packets as shopping lists and I have more cool stuff in my kitchen than my closet. I’m not a real foodie, but I like to cook and bake. When I watch shows like “Iron Chef,” I know I’m no foodie, because half the things they prepare, I would rather go hungry than eat. Ew, sweet breads, squid ink.
Ha! Some of these made me laugh! Loudly!
I love kitchen duty!
HUGS!
PS…How was your weekend? I had a super busy weekend, but finished
decorating, attended 2 more Christmas parties, and did some shopping!
“- you’ve found yourself gazing up at the stars on a clear night, and wondered if there’s any edible form life out there.”
That’s the best one by far and away
@Lakakalo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oScmodG_riM
@Lakakalo - haha oh yeah, forgot about that one… doh!
love love love this post.
My kitchen also came with a couple of extra rooms. ha ha
Love this! *raises roof*
haha… not sure if i’ll agree with them all but many of the above certainly seem legit.
Very good post
@whyzat - Squid ink…? You mean as a natural food coloring? I… can kinda’ understand that actually.
@AdamsWomanFell - Thanks. [Hugs] Glad you liked it. I attended a party through video conferencing. All in all, it was an lovely experience.
@jaydedheart - Well, I always wondered about science fiction stories where aliens were eating people. I always figure it’d have to go both ways… right?
@ZSA_MD - Thank you. If I ever make it to a point in life where I can buy a house, let’s just say not a lot of people will be impressed by the living room.
@nerdyveggiegirl - Thank you.
@rudyhou - Er… I don’t agree with them all. My footwear out numbers my cooking oils 2.63 to 1. And as long I’m living in apartments, I have to settle for whatever cooking arrangements I can get. -_-
@angys_coco - Thank you.
@jsolberg - Don’t be so harsh on yourself man. You tower above the competing other hundred or so uniques like a giraffe in a circus parade, except for the 40 foot whooping crane.
)
(Oh like you weren’t expecting that.
Chocolate! Where? I want, I want, gemme some.
First, I love your profile picture. I actually did a double take when I saw it. AWESOME!
- you really, really like chocolate. (Or, for that matter of fact, ice cream.)
- you believe coffee comes in one flavor. Black. Everything else is a diluent. **true European espresso!! Too die for (umm, and I guess that’s the truth since it really activates my heart)
- your favorite part about parties is the kitchen duty. **jumps up and down. That’s me.
Guess that makes me one. *delighted smile.
Well I’m not a cook or all that refined…but along with sleeping and computer games eating is one of my favourite pastimes
So I totally agree with this post lol
LOL this is creative. I am not a foodie…by choice. I could be, but I choose not to be.
I am a foodie. Haha. But not by choice?
Bowl of cereal today. XD