In honor of mother’s day, I thought i’d share a story of  mother dearest.

A story of buying fish…

When it comes to buying fish, or anything else for that matter, I prefer to follow a Zen approach; I’m going to buy a finite number of items over a finite period of time.  That is, if you go to a store to buy a quart of milk, you’re going to buy a carton and pay for it at the cashier.  You can spend an hour comparing all the available brands on their price, value, etc.  but regardless of how much time you spend, it’ll take you a minute to pick up a carton and pay for it.  You should, therefore, focus on finding the one carton rather than try & logically eliminate every single brand of milk out there.

My mother’s approach, on the other hand discards time as a finite constant.  She likes to take her time.  She really likes to take her time.

One fine morning, Mom had decided that I was finally old enough to learn the proper techniques for buying Hilsa, a type of fish.  Given that back then I was just a helpless lad at the tender young age of 19, she decided it would be a good idea to come along with me, and teach me the proper method of buying Hilsa.

We walked to the store, and during this time she proceeded to educate me on the procedures associated with properly buying Hilsa; with the precision of a well prepared power point presentation.  Bullet points, visuals & all.

Once we reached and eventually entered the store, we walked over to the freezer containing frozen Hilsa.  I opened it, took a look, and after contemplating on the task at hand ; and reflecting on my contemplations on the task at hand, picked up the fish I wanted to buy.  The entire process took 6 seconds.

Finite items, 1 Fish; finite time 6 seconds.

Mom, on the other hand, was appalled by my naiveté.  She wanted the best value for her money; and she wanted me to learn how to get the best value for her money.  So she set about examining each and every Hilsa in the freezer.  Some were long & skinny, others were short & chubby.  She postulated on the positive and negative aspects of each fish in comparison to each other.  She speculated about their origins.  She hypothesized on whether or not one would taste better than the other based on some old rules of thumb; and re-adjust her previous hypotheses accordingly.

Half way through, she decided she needed a break from the calculations & decided to browse through any and everything else the store offered.  A few minutes later, it was back to the frozen school of Hilsa.  (Or is it school of frozen Hilsa…?)

138 minutes after we entered the store, Mom came to a conclusive decision that she had indeed, come upon the best of the bunch.  A Hilsa that met all her demanding criteria and stood head & shoulder above the rest.  Atleast, it would have stood head & shoulder above the rest, if fish had shoulders.  With the self assured smile of an old master teaching a bright eyed disciple, she showed me the result of her hard work.

It was the same fish I’d initially picked up.

Hello and welcome to yet another edition of “Cooking: The Incredibley Amazing Saad Azim Way”.  I’m your host The Incredibley Amazing Saad Azim and today we cook traditional Bangladeshi Spicy Shrimps.

You’ll need:

• “Cleaned” shrimps – 1 cup
• Chopped onions – 1.5 cups
• Garlic – 0.5 cup
• Turmeric – 0.5 tsp
• Chili powder – according to taste
• Green chili – 1 to 3
• Cooking Oil/Sparay – according to taste
• Salt – according to taste
• Water – 1 to 3 cups

Now… most traditional Bangladeshi cooking begin the same way.  You start by frying onions in some pre-heated oil/cooking spray over medium heat.  Once the onions start turning golden brown you add the garlic.  Once the garlic starts turning golden brown, you add the turmeric, chili powder, and a cup of water.  Stir thoroughly.

Let the mixture sit for a minute, and throw in the shrimps.  (Unless you have bad aim, in which case, pour the shrimps into the pot/pan instead of throwing them.)  That’s about it actually.  Let the whole concoction sit over low heat.  The onion & garlic should “melt” and form a thick sauce.  If they don’t, add some more water and let it sit over medium heat until they melt & form a thick sauce.

Stir on a casual basis to prevent the shrimp & sauce from sticking to the bottom of the pan.  Once the shrimps are thoroughly cooked, throw in a couple of thinly sliced green chili and stir for a few more minutes.

Traditionally, spicy Bangladeshi Spicy Shrimps are served with boiled rice.

So… er… that’s about it.  Until next time.

=^^=

Ok… so every once in a while, something comes a long that turns an
industry on its head.  It could be a story, a movie, a game or a music
video.  But whatever it is, it manages to bring something so radically
new, or elevate the existing tricks & techniques to such a level;
nothing  remains the same in it’s wake.

Ok.  I finally managed to see 300.

I liked it.

The story, as you may or may not know, revolves around a King and his attempts at protecting Greece from a persian invasion, while under some heavy limitations imposed by the clergy.  However, even though this movie has it’s roots in history, it’s best to accept this movie for what it really is; a historically inspired fantasy.  (Otherwise I would have had a *serious* problem with the fact that the *only* man to be shown running away from the spartans just happens to be from… er… *our* corner of the world… )

Anyways, the folks behind this movie deserves major kudos for sticking to the book as closely as possible.  Some of the scenes were adapted from the comicbook, shot for shot, and other scenes would not have looked out of place in the original series.  And to wrap it all up, the flic has been color-graded to comicbook-ish perfection, so much so, you could take still-frames from the movie and complie them into another graphic novel all together.

Leonidas (both the *real* Leonidas and the one in the movie) happens to have uttered, and/or screamed some of the best one-liners in recent memory.

Watching the battle scenes, it was a bit ironic that the coreoghraphy of the Spartans battling the Persians were errily reminiscient of the fighting “style” of the protagonist in the new Prince of Persia series.  (PoP Sands of Time & it’s sequels.)  But maybe it’s just me.  Still… if you liked hack-&-slash sections in the Lord of The Rings trilogy, you’ll love the battle scenes here.  Xerxes has a large & varied army, drawing resources from all corners of the persian empire; and the Spartans deal with them quite ingeniously.

Kickass as the movie is, there are… issues.  Small technical little issues that keep this movie from being perfect.  Among other things, Leonidas was not Scottish.  The actor who played Leonidas looks the part, but Bob knows why he couldn’t atleast be dubbed.  (The title of this blog isn’t Greek or anything, it’s how Leonidas says “This is Sparta!” in the movie.)  What is it with Hollywood’s obsession with Rebellious-Underdog-Scottish-Kings…?

And while some of you (*cough* *hack* *deliccate* *cough*) may enjoy the sights of a  sweaty-chiseled-semi-naked-scottish-Spartan & his equally sweaty-chiseled-semi-naked-non-scottish-Spartan soldiers hack & slash away at their enemies; others will probably notice the bizarre blood, further adding to the “Videogame-ish” feel of the movie.  It’s spilled by the buttloads, but not a single drop of it ever make it to the ground.  Infact, some of it disappears in mid-air.  Oh well.  That’s Hollywood war for you.  Neat & tidy, while trying to look brutal & intense.

All in all, I liked 300, and … I kinda’ wish I could see it in the theaters.  Bob knows there are moments, like the “Thas es SparRRRrt-Ta”-scene, or the one with the Rhino were meant to be seen with a crowd.

That’s all. =^^=

April 14th marked the beginning of the Bengali Year 1414.

There’s a moderately detailed history of how the Bengali year came to be, posted at wikipedia, so I’ll skip the lecture.  It *should* be noted that while traditional conservative Muslims in Bangladesh frown on celebration of the Bengali New Year, it was derived from the Islamic calender.

Anyways, I actually managed to live up to my aspirations this year and managed to celebrate it the way I prefer to celebrate *any* occasion.  I slept as much as I could.

A philosophy on which, a lot of people disagree with me.  Some want to celebrate, others want to do chores, but dammit… How often do I not only get a day off, but I also get a legitimate excuse to not do chores.  So I slept late, went over to my uncle’s place for breakfast, came home; called up a couple of people to wish them a happy new years; and spent the rest of the day ..uh… resting.

So…erm… Happy New Years… =^^=

Yes siree… not only will this post teach you to fry Potatoes, but it will teach you to fry Potatoes The Incredibley Amazing Saad Azim way.  Impress your friends & bedazzle family with your amazing Potato frying skills.

First and foremost, you’ll need water.  You’ll need a lot of water if you are to properly fry potatoes The Incredibley Amazing Saad Azim way.  So make sure you’ve got a steady supply of water, and preferably, something to hold the water.  You’ll also need some oil, or cooking spray.  How else are you suppose to fry potatoes?  Hmm?  Hmmmmmmmm?  (The Incredibley Amazing Saad Azim recommends Olive Oil, of if possible, Sesame Seed oil.)  Last but not least, you’ll need some potatoes.  Roughly half a pound or so.  There’s also the ambiguous issue of spices, but it varies according to taste, so I leave it up to individual choices.  (The rule of thumb: you can’t go wrong with salt.  However, experiment to your heart’s content.)

Utensil wise, you’ll need a knife, a cutting board for the knife, a bowl to hold some of that steady supply of water you’ve got going, a frying pan, a working stove, and something to stir stuff with.

Ready?  Ok.

Peel the potatoes and make some thin vertical cuts, roughly a quarter inch thick, followed by some thin horizontal cuts, also a quarter inch thick.  (The Incredibley Amazing Saad Azim avoids those all-in-one food processors/graters because they always manage either make the slices too thin or too thick.)  What we’re going for here are thin, yet strong enough to stand on it’s own, slices.  (Imagine a midget French-fry.)  Now, as soon as you’re done slicing the potato, put the pieces into a large bowl of water.  Repeat until you’ve finished with all the potatoes.

Let the bits sit in water for roughly five to ten minutes.  This basically draws the…erm… “juice” out of the potato, which would otherwise make the fries sticky & mushy.  Soaking the potatoes in a buttload of water for a couple of minutes means you’ll get crisp & non sticky fries. and drain the water.  If possible, change the water ever three to four minutes.

Add your favorite spices.  (The Incredibley Amazing Saad Azim way involves a combination of various flavors of fish sauces, a quarter cup of red chili powder, a quarter teaspoon of turmeric, and a couple of sliced green chilies for half pound sliced potatoes.  Less than adventurous cooks can probably go with some salt, added according to taste.)  Either way, let the marinated potato sit for another five to ten minutes.  This allows the marination to seep into the potato.  (Hence the thin slices.)

Pre-heat the oil, set the flame to medium-low, and add the potatoes.  Stir the potatoes gently to make sure most of the slices are coated with oil/cooking spray and spread them out evenly over the pan.  You want just enough heat to cook the starch.  Too much heat you’ll have fries that are cooked on the outside but raw on the inside.  Every 30 seconds or so, stir the fries.  Every minute or so, pick out a random fry & see if it’s cooked or not.  The objective is to make sure the fries are crispy on the outside, properly cooked on the inside.  The more space there is to spread the fries around, the crispier the fries will be.

Er… that’s about it.  If you’re going all the way, and doing thing The Incredibley Amazing Saad Azim way down to the T, you’re probably using a quarter cup of red chili powder.  In which case, once your eyes start watering, the fries are roughly a third way done.  Once you start sneezing, they’re about two thirds done.  Once people at the other end of the apartment are complaining about your cooking, you’re finally done with the fries.

Here’s why:

A trip down memory lane, actually…

I’d been looking for an adapter for the adapter for a camcorder I had recently acquired.  (The adapter that came with the camcorder needs to be…er… adapted for the Bangladeshi standard.)  Ever since I left the Camcorder on one night and drained the batteries, I had been looking for a way to charge the damn thing.  (My cousin, was kind enough to charge it for me the first time around.)

Anyways, I spent roughly two to three weeks looking for the aforementioned adapter, only to be eluded by fortune, time and time again.  Until yesterday, when I found myself in another electronics store.  The clerk did not have an adapter per sé, but what he tried to sell me was basically your average everyday multi plug.  He pointed out that these things had sockets to simultaneously support multiple standards.

If I hadn’t gotten so accustomed to the impulses, I might have kicked myself that day.

Feeling like a fool that I am, I went home, plugged the adapter into the multi plug (which I had for a lot longer than I had the camcorder) and… er… that’s about it, actually.

Ummmm …the lip-synch is off at times, partially because there was very little spare footage to “patch up” the bits where the lip-synch was off…   On the flipside, the song probably could/would/should have been used in ads for fastfood restaurants around Valentine’s Day…